Exclusivity and intentionality are ancient rituals, things of the past, and misplaced hopes. It’s not that this new line of thinking is necessarily untrue today, or that it’s not the current and corrupt trend of our culture. One of our most precious pursuits, that of a life-long partner for all of life, is tragically being relegated to tweets, texts, and Facebook pokes, to ambiguous flirtation and fooling around. I was reminded of a conversation I had with a friend recently.
The first strain is that many women, since the time of the sexual revolution, are more willing to engage in premarital or casual sex.
Don’t sit around waiting for a boy to make you a priority, communicate his intentions, or even call you on the phone.
Girls, stop expecting guys to make any formal attempt at winning your affections.
A couple of months after this, Sean and I started dating. So far two other couples who met through our friend group have also married, and for much the same reason—they sort of clicked and worked together well as a couple.
I initially held a grudge against Katie because I’d been raised to think people give away a piece of their heart to every person they date, leaving them less whole. The problem with more formal dating is that you feel the need to be on your best behavior, to put up a front and a mask.