Becoming confident in dating
That’s what this article is about: How to restore your confidence when it takes a hit — in an authentic, meaningful, and lasting way. (Here’s a working copy of that paper.) As we teach here at AOC, the body follows the mind, and the mind follows the body.As with most cliches, “Fake it till you make it” has an inkling of truth to it. In that view, confidence isn’t something we have, it’s something we do.Some think arrogance plays a part, some believe it’s about physical strength, and others imagine a guy who isn’t afraid to get into a fight with anyone who challenges them. So rather than coming up with some generic one-line answer, I decided to write a list of traits that I know confident men carry. Knows to apologize when he’s wrong Speaks the truth and doesn’t go back on his word Isn’t worried about his girlfriend’s past dating history Doesn’t need to put people down to make himself feel better Gives back to others because he genuinely wants to Is assertive and actively goes after what he wants in life Knows how to be a gentleman and treat a woman like a lady Takes responsibility for his actions and doesn’t blame others Approaches a beautiful woman even when he’s nervous Has many interests and is passionate about them Makes the woman he’s with feel sexy and desirable Takes the initiative to ask for her number or invite her on a date Leads with charisma and self-assurance Doesn’t take advantage or prey on those weaker than him Stands up for his values and what he believes in Has his emotions under control and keeps his cool even in the most tense situations Embraces his sexual side and enjoys flirting Smiles often and brightens other people’s day Speaks slowly, clearly, and with purpose Gets excited to meet new people and personalities Communicates with his partner and doesn’t shut down Expresses his feelings openly instead of making passive-aggressive comments Isn’t afraid to disagree but doesn’t have to start an argument Has a proactive outlook on life and radiates positive energy Enjoys going on adventures and trying new things Doesn’t have to brag or boast to feel important Gives strong eye contact when talking Avoids negative self-talk and doesn’t tear himself down Makes the tough decisions when he has to Is comfortable and non-judgemental about female sexuality Sees failure as an opportunity to learn and grow from Allows others to save face when they slip up He respects and considers the opinions of others but doesn’t seek their approval Tries to prevent unnecessary drama and fights in his relationship Isn’t selfish and shares what he has with others Creates sexual tension through physical contact and goes for the kiss Avoids jumping to conclusions and making unwarranted assumptions Is open-minded about new ideas and gives them a fair chance Stands tall, with his shoulders relaxed, and head held high Enjoys a good challenge and the process to overcome it Isn’t jealous, controlling, or needy in his relationships Has a great sense of humor and knows how to make people laugh Always protects those closest to him Expands his comfort zone on a regular basis Is a skilled lover and knows how to give a woman incredible orgasms Encourages others to succeed and is excited for their accomplishments Doesn’t guilt trip or manipulate his partner to get what he wants Is polite, has manners, and understands social etiquette Tries to look his best because he values himself Accepts criticism and doesn’t take things personally Is happy with himself and doesn’t hide who he really is So how about it, are you feeling confident?
For most women, a man with a strong head on his shoulders is more important than superficial factors like looks or money.We don’t need to dwell on them or give them more importance than they deserve (tending to your wounds can become a full-time job — and another seductive way to avoid action!), but we do need to acknowledge them in order to move forward.Adopting the powerful principle of “as if” and tending to our wounds helps us develop the attitude necessary for authentic confidence.Reframing our failures as growth opportunities allows us to expand the knowledge that underpins confidence.